I don’t write to be famous, I don’t write to be known, I write because I am and I want to be read. How sad to fill a room with paintings no one sees or play music no one hears. Writing is talking without sound, singing without score and dancing without movement and yet, it is all of them. It is a solitary art conjured from thought and expressed by the need to communicate.

HEAD SLAPS, SPEED BUMPS and LIGHTBULBS, one woman's WTF, oops and ah-ha moments of life.

They were published once, and as every writer knows, once is not enough.




Monday, May 2, 2016

1 2 3 and sometimes 4

1. Who am I?
2. Where am I?
3. What do I do?
4. How do I persevere?

1. I have 2Ns on the tale end of my first name. Does that make me different or does it simply provide me with an extra letter when I need one?
2. I am pivoting among projects, dizzying myself, confusing my goal and lost in a sea of choices.
3. Pick one and focus.
4. Always a multi-reader, (two books at a time), I can't write like that.

This weekend we had some long-time friends over for dinner. The last time I saw them, (six months ago), I mentioned that someone in traditional publishing showed real interest in a project I thought was, "the one". They asked if I had finished, "that book".

When I told that I had set aside that project for something I had finished years earlier, real disappointment passed across their faces. One half of the couple had worked in traditional publishing for years, so she knew the importance of the bone thrown my way by the earlier "someone".
That I saw, (you stupid fuck), on there faces, and (what the fuck are doing), lift the corners of their mouths and (finish the fucker or you will hate yourself), seep from their gaze, surprised me.

What am I doing?
Why am I spinning?
Why am I writing this, right now, instead of working on "the one"?

What?
Why?
I am off to slough away the depression of unfinished dreams and re-inspire myself. I am again telling myself, I WILL FTF. I have a feeling that this time, resolve will stick, because the story is a good one and I have an extra letter if I need one.

Have a nice day.

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6 comments:

  1. Lilac ShoshaniMay 3, 2016 at 10:37 AM

    You are one hell of a writer, and you have an outstanding voice, which I LOVE! I'm sure the extra letter in your name will support your resolve.:-) And you've got my full support as well. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carolynnwith2NsMay 5, 2016 at 11:14 AM

      From your mouth to God's ear...or an agent. They are God's too :) Thanks L.

      Delete
  2. Lennon FarisMay 5, 2016 at 8:32 AM

    I have to echo Lilac... I do love reading your stuff, '2N's.' That being said, I know what you mean about losing focus. I started querying in Feb. and for a few months the rejections (I think that's what did it) killed my drive to write. I was also starting my blog and reading a lot on the JR blog, so I made myself back off on all of those (incl. sending more queries) and just work on my own 'the one'. And fyi, any book you get published I would buy & read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carolynnwith2NsMay 5, 2016 at 11:18 AM

      Hey Lennon, backing off, sometimes is a good thing. Makes you come back with new eyes. I'll get ya a discount? Thanks for the kind words.

      Delete
  3. DonnaeveMay 5, 2016 at 9:13 AM

    Here I come, stomping into your playground.

    What are you doing? Get back to your story, Missy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carolynnwith2NsMay 5, 2016 at 11:22 AM

      I am babe. FINALLY found my arc. Added 5000 in the last week. YOU are my inspiration.
      Are you still working with Caroline or only the editors of your publisher.

      Delete

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