I don’t write to be famous, I don’t write to be known, I write because I am and I want to be read. How sad to fill a room with paintings no one sees or play music no one hears. Writing is talking without sound, singing without score and dancing without movement and yet, it is all of them. It is a solitary art conjured from thought and expressed by the need to communicate.

HEAD-SLAPS, SPEED-BUMPS and LIGHT-BULBS, one woman's WTF, oops and ah-ha moments of life.

They were published once, and as every writer knows, once is not enough.



Saturday, April 23, 2016

Clock in, clock out

Oh my, it’s been over a month since I’ve posted.
Why?
Well.
Busy with family. Yes they do come first.
And I am unbelievably busy at the job I hate love.
Because I am so physically taxed at work I am totally spent by the end of my work day.

I rise at 4:45am, at work by 7. (I squeeze in email corralling and FB during my early breakfast.) For the next nine hours I am trekking 4 to 5 miles, bending, lifting and doing what I physically have to do to get a paycheck. Ten years ago I’d say, “…my job keeps me fit”, now I think it’s just plain wearing me down. Though it sounds like it, I am not complaining.

Like my husband says, “it is what it is.”

My point in sharing this tale of woe is that ‘my tired’ has effected my writing time. I’m editing a not-sure-what-to-call-it and working on my column. I’m trying to read and research and live up to ancillary obligations, which means posting has fallen far down the list.

But, here I am.
Why?
Well.
Because words feed me oxygen.
I have tomorrow off.
Tonight I breathe.

Have you ever been suffocated by obligation and how did you get catch your breath?

6 comments:

  1. Priorities! I so so hear you on this, 2Ns. As I tell my kids, first you do what you have to do, then you do what you want to do. Unfortunately, the day job falls into the former category, otherwise there's no way to sustain the latter. At least you know you're not alone. :)

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    1. You are so right Colin. Isn't it funny how life, (that which we write about), sometimes gets in the way, yet is the very thing which sustains us.

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  2. Carolynn, maybe it's the retrograding planets (five), but I've been wiped out and not managing to do much lately except what I have to do. And words definitely feed me oxygen as well…I'm sorry it took me so long to realize you had already posted a new post blog. I love to visit you. <3

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    1. And, I love when you stop by. A woman at work mentioned the whole retrograde thing at work. I think you guys may be onto something.

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  3. There you are! Or...here you are! :)

    Oh yes, to answer your question. A BIG FAT YES. I caught my breath when I did what I had to do. Otherwise, I'd have been riding on the BIG FAT GUILT TRIP.

    In 2010 I was working full time, and putting in something like 50-60 hour weeks. And I was in school full time. And I was writing "that book." I did just like you said - what I had to do - and the what I wanted to do, came last. Therefore, what gave me a paycheck? First, w/out question. Then, schoolwork. Many nights, instead of folding myself onto the couch, I'd go upstairs to study until midnight. Last was what I wanted to do - finish the book.

    When I think back on that time? I shake my head. Not sure how the hell I did it.

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    1. For me, the problem now is that I wobble between extreme effort and being weary of the effort. But, I'm still at, which reminds me, back to writing.

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