Spell check - the penicillin, Salk vaccine and morning after pill for all writers.
Edit - leaving the fancy outfit on the floor for the perfect jeans and T.
Preface – what a writer really wants to say first-off which no one wants to read.
Oprah’s Book Club – like being the first to be picked for dodge-ball.
Query – a writer’s post-it bio combined with Tolstoy’s War and Peace as a Hallmark Card.
No Response Means No – a Dear John letter lost in the mail.
Form Rejection – a Dear John letter not lost in the mail.
Personalized Rejection – if you lose weight and have breast implants John might ask you out.
Publisher – a cross between God with a small “g” and your freshman English teacher.
The Call – comes when phone lines are down, your cell phone is dead, your computer has a virus and the garbage truck runs over your mailbox.
The End - this.