My daughters are women. Though
they will never stop being ‘my girls’, they are more grown up then I ever was
at their age. More accomplished and less afraid, I envy their youth.
Sometimes I wonder if they know
how lucky they are to be young because I didn’t when I was. I wonder if they
realize the advantages they have because they are female. Being female when I was young meant marrying
a man with a good job to take care of me. By the time I was told what a
cheating fallacy that was, and that I should always be able to take care of
myself, college was out. Education came in temporary spurts and working the
patheticism of retail filled in the gaps between what was and what is.
I went into business, dreamed and
worked damn hard. I met a man and failed at everything. At the opposite of
pinnacle I met another man and settled into three and half decades of marriage,
family and survival. He took care of me, I took care of him, and we raised two
daughters who wear skills, intelligence and humor like a designer
wardrobe.
Our daughters will excel, they
will fail, they will love their husbands and wonder at times why they ever
thought such a partner suited them.
From my past I garner experience
and give it to my girls as insight into the importance of being young and female. Youth, I mourn the loss of mine every single
day; female, we are a higher species than man I think. I am convinced of this
because we gave birth; no man who has witnessed the push to life would
disagree.
Beautiful. My daughters are teenagers and I wonder back to their baby days when I had full control and was easily the center of their universe. I've adjusted well enough to high school life, but can't imagine them as adults. Or am I more afraid of what it means for me? I don't know...I think I fear the almost total lack of control over lives.
ReplyDeleteJennine, one thing I have learned is that the lack of total control is quite freeing. My girls are still my girls but we are sort of partners now as women sharing the same planet. They share the highlights of their lives with me, and sometimes the low points, and I always have some sort of story or incident I tell just to let them know I understand. (They have heard the stories a hundred times and nod to humor me).
DeleteLetting go of trying to fix things and always having an answer has been hard, because that's what mothers are supposed to do. It is their turn to make things right, it's my turn to be there and listen. That I understand is sometimes the best answer. If I'm clueless (more often then not) I let them know and we have a good laugh.
Actually laughing is the best.
I know you're right. It seems easy to adjust to things as they come, but looking too far ahead always seems intimidating.
DeleteWry, first of all I love this title. And your words here flow effortlessly. I love how you step back and see what your "girls" have, and wonder if they see it, because you didn't. Neither did I. I took everything for granted. Don't we all?
ReplyDeleteIs this part of your book? If so, I was captured by the words. Keep going.
Yes it is part of the book and thank you for the encouragement XO
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