I don’t write to be famous, I don’t write to be known, I write because I am and I want to be read. How sad to fill a room with paintings no one sees or play music no one hears. Writing is talking without sound, singing without score and dancing without movement and yet, it is all of them. It is a solitary art conjured from thought and expressed by the need to communicate.

HEAD-SLAPS, SPEED-BUMPS and LIGHT-BULBS, one woman's WTF, oops and ah-ha moments of life.

They were published once, and as every writer knows, once is not enough.



Sunday, March 6, 2016

From baby to baby, a senior representitive


After over thirty years of writing articles, op-eds and newspaper columns I began to wonder what kind of non-fiction writer I really am. Who am I writing for, who do I represent?

My latest ENOUGH SAID rant column had me defending my job, my fellow workers and just about everybody in service industries so I wondered how else have I defined myself over the years.

Early on I wrote about being a stay at home mother of two daughters. I touted the advantages of being home with my children as opposed to rushed mornings and late evenings of family time. Was it better for them? Doesn’t matter, because as a mother in her mid and late thirties, who longed for children like loneliness longs for love, it was better for me. Daycare or in home care, kids do just fine as long as they are wanted and loved for who they are.

Once our girls entered school fulltime, and I started punching a time clock again, I began to write about the wonderful chaos that adolescence, working parents and a four foot pile of laundry on the basement floor brings.

On one particular January day I was so tired of looking at the mound of cloths on the basement floor that I attacked it like a hungry crow on roadkill. After a full day of washing and folding I made it to the summer season’s bathing suits at the bottom. Under that heap lay a paper-thin dead frog flattened like flower petals pressed between the pages in a book.

As my girls got older my writing took a turn to teenager angst and how fast their childhood sped by. From trikes to cars and college, life picked up a kind of warp-speed momentum that can only be described as blur. It seemed as if one day I was standing at the end of our driveway waiting for the school bus for our oldest’s first day of kindergarten, and the next we were driving her three and half hours north to college in Vermont.  

And then, our youngest was off to a University in Rhode Island and there we were, two birds rearranging our nest for the next season. Sure the kids boomeranged back, moved out, got married, moved back again, bought houses, one had a baby, and the other is due in May. And, here I am today, a senior representative, writing about life from baby to baby.

When I think about all the years, and how our family has changed, I am so thankful I have chronicled it. Being able to share it, per publication, is a privildge. I’ve written about the new members who marry-in, those who opt out by choice, and the heartbreaking circumstances of those removed by fate, old age and senseless tragedy. I’ve written about being a daughter, a mother, granddaughter and grandmother, a wife and a friend. Stupid, smart, addlebrained and lame brained I’ve written it all. I’ve thought about, researched, considered and started projects so varied that only the confines of white space and word count could sort and confine them.

So what’s next?

New baby, retirement, old age? Damned if I know. Have to turn tomorrow’s page, tomorrow.

What’s new with you?

7 comments:

  1. "Have to turn tomorrow's page tomorrow." But...if I turn tomorrow's page tomorrow, won't it be the day after? Oy, my head is starting to hurt...LOL! Either way, I say we make t-shirts out of it!

    You should go read John Frain's post on Rejection and Regret. It's the second one he's done, but I loved it, and something tells me it will resonate with you.

    Either way 2N's, your life is full, and filled with love, and all sorts of possibilities. I hope you're making progress!

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    1. Donna, I am making great progress with renewed spirit, thanks to you actually. Ha, love the T-shirt idea LOL.

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    2. Oh, good! I'm glad, 2N's I really am.

      Hey, we can be like the new Scarlett O'Hara's with that phrase.

      "We'll turn tomorrow's page tomorrow."

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    3. Do you really think the world is ready for two new Scarlett O'Hara's? You qualify because of where you live, as for me, well, actually maybe I do. I am from SOUTHERN Connecticut.

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  2. Carolynn, I love it that you chronicled everything. I always felt that a life that's not shared, is not a life at all. And somehow "a shared life" has always translated in my mind into writing: I write, therefore I exist.

    And I want that T-shirt…LOL.

    P.S. I have a feeling that tomorrow will bring more happiness and fulfillment than today. Crossing my fingers and sending blessings! <3

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    1. "I write, therefore I exist."
      There's another T-shirt for us. I guess we will have to go into the business of selling t-shirts on a street corner somewhere. Lilac, you get the Tel Aviv franchise, Donna gets NC. I'll head down to NYC. We'll make a million.

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  3. You are hilarious, Carolynn. I LOVE your idea. That's exactly what the three of us should do. We'll make a million for sure! LOL. :D

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