I don’t write to be famous, I don’t write to be known, I write because I am and I want to be read. How sad to fill a room with paintings no one sees or play music no one hears. Writing is talking without sound, singing without score and dancing without movement and yet, it is all of them. It is a solitary art conjured from thought and expressed by the need to communicate.

HEAD SLAPS, SPEED BUMPS and LIGHTBULBS, one woman's WTF, oops and ah-ha moments of life.

They were published once, and as every writer knows, once is not enough.




Tuesday, February 26, 2013

not-wanting



If your path is difficult but you love what you do, if it has you hanging on by your fingernails one day, and floating on a cloud the next, sometimes it just makes sense to love the dog that bites you. I recently used that line as a comment on Averil Dean’s blog. It got me to thinking.

As a writer who has achieved a modicum of success I’ve been bitten by rejection so many times that any weaker person, one less apt to deal with a reddened turned-the-other-cheek, would have caged that animal or put it to rest. But I love being a writer; I cannot imagine doing anything else. It feeds my mind and inebriates my soul. It also fuels ‘the dream’.

I used to think everybody dreams, everybody wants more, everybody longs for some sort of legacy; I was wrong. I get that generalizations are foolish, and assumptions suck, but I genuinely pity, and in a way I envy, those who are content with their station in life. Not-wanting...yes a part of me is jealous of the calmness, because if you are not-wanting then you are not open to the angst of not-getting.

But there is duplicity to calmness; it means you are either at peace, never even thought or dared to want something besides a pedestrian life or you have given up.

So which is it, are you calm or are you on alert for the next bite?
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6 comments:

  1. Carolynnwith2NsFebruary 26, 2013 at 8:55 AM

    Because I want to see at least one comment I'll go first.
    Wuff...I'm on alert. As always I'm waiting for an editor to get back to me. She liked what I wrote, a lot, so my fingernails are dug into her ledge. I'm hoping she doesn't slam the window.

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  2. Cooking On A BudgetFebruary 26, 2013 at 2:01 PM

    Well, I too am on alert because I do not want to lead a pedestrian life. I have had goals and circumstances have not allowed me to reach it. Hoping I don't get bit in the ars but get myself motivated to take a big bite out of life!

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    Replies
    1. Carolynnwith2NsFebruary 26, 2013 at 9:52 PM

      Sharpen your teeth Babe, because I know 'life' is first on your recipe list.

      Delete
  3. Cooking On A BudgetFebruary 27, 2013 at 4:46 AM

    Thanks sista.

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  4. Jen G.February 28, 2013 at 6:35 PM

    I always have some goal I'm working toward, but my regular job as a teacher is much as you describe. One day goes great, I feel like I've made a huge difference and the next is a bust, chaos and I'm the worst teacher ever. Hanging by my fingernails is just another day in the classroom for me.

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    Replies
    1. Carolynnwith2NsFebruary 28, 2013 at 9:11 PM

      But my dear Jennine, you are making a difference in the lives of people who will eventually make a difference in the lives of others, and so it goes, on and on. Fingernails are pretty strong; they always leave an imprint.

      Delete

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