My God it’s been a year. Is anybody out there? Does anybody care? Yes, we were locked down. Two weeks, just us and our pain-in-the-ass mini wiener dog who is sweet and quiet only after the sun goes down. (They haven’t found my husband’s body yet.) Actually we did OK. We pretty much stuck close to home. Had food delivered until stores set rules in place and the state set mandates. Even now we do not go often. On-line shopping saved Christmas. Early on not visiting two of our grandchildren was heartbreaking. We got as close as hands against the glass and cried all the way home. Our other Little-One is part of our next-door-nest so we got to spend time with her. We played by the rules, watched the news, and rejoiced when change came in November. We’ve gotten our first shots and are waiting impatiently in line while jittering up and down for our second double dip dish of rocky road. I’m hoping the shots are our get-of-jail-free cards? What a heartbreaking year it has been. When I think of the fear, suffering, and loss that has taken place I am overwhelmed by it all. How can something so minute loom so large while seeking to annihilate our species? Comprehending the immensity of it is like trying to fathom the depth of the universe. It is just too vast. When I think of all the time I’ve had to write, and how I used those endless hours for something else, I feel profoundly guilty. Sustaining focus became impossible, editing became a nightmare, the dream of a title page became a stopped clock. Okay, enough of looking backward. Enough of wondering why, or how, or WTF. So here I am a year later replacing the double A’s, setting the hands, and listening for the heartbeat of the little mantle clock. Its rhythm is the song of my life. The title of the song? Write. Ever vigilant, and thankful, and grateful, and cautious, stay well my writer friends, stay well. 2Ns

Fate in the cards

So…here I am on March 1^st sitting at my kitchen table writing. All I can think about is how our world, yup the entire world, has changed regarding the possibility of a pandemic. Some say we’ve already jumped the fence and some say not quite yet.  Where I live we have not been touched just yet but considering how (cliché alert) few and far between my posts have been, by the time I jump on again the world may have gone to a dark and scary place.

Though I am one of those so called high risk mature-types if the monster mounts my porch and slithers under my welcome mat I will deal. If for some reason our little town were to be locked down for two weeks (and staying indoors was the order) the biggest risk (and I can’t understate this) my husband and I would be at each other’s throats by about day 3.

So…here I am on March 2nd sitting at my kitchen table, setting aside the news and working on a family tale-of-truth. This new project chronicles a financial miracle which came down our little country road almost 20 years ago, knocked on our door and changed our lives. It is the stuff of dreams. I AM NOT UNDERSTATING THIS.

Fate plays an amazing game with our lives sometimes. Whether it be a virus the size of a nightmare or an unimagined life changing incident…my advice…never ever discount the possibility that at your darkest hour a wild card may be flipped your way.  

A glossary of terms for writers (UPDATED)

 

 For the New Year I have resurrected and updated my

GLOSSARY OF TERMS FOR WRITERS 

 

Glossary – a really lame dictionary.

Writer - a person who thinks they have something to say so they write it down even though they are afraid to have someone read it.

Fiction – brain drivel.

Non-fiction – brain drivel by an expert or by someone who claims to be an expert.

Memoir – a written document with the consensus that your boss will fire you, your friends will shun you, your family will disown you and your children will claim to be orphans. When it becomes a movie you will be tapped for loans or sued, by all of the above.

Novel – clever untruths built with a lot of words.

Short Story – clever untruths built with less words than a lot.

Essay – clever truths. Less words interesting. A lot of words boring.

Cliché – a smartass use of someone else’s smartass phrase.

Spell check - the penicillin, Salk vaccine and morning after pill for all writers.

Edit - leaving the fancy outfit on the floor for the perfect jeans and T.

Punctuation – all the little marks writers use to convey speech patterns on paper.

Period – the 28 day dot (.) to denote when the writer runs out of thought.

Question mark – do you think it is a hook with a dot (?) to denote when the writer doesn’t have an answer?

Exclamation point – a line with a dot (!) used sparingly to denote, really, really, and I mean really, exciting wow-words!

Comma – a tiny, little, itsy bitsy curve of a line (,) when the writer takes a big breath.

Dash - that little line (-) right after the word “dash” that most writers don’t know when to use.

Preposition – a word, which by its use at the end of sentence, illustrates a writer’s frustration such as, finding an oven in which to place one’s head in.

Bold – this.

Italic – that.

Title - a royal’s preface.

Preface – what a writer really wants to say first-off which no one wants to read.

Title Page – depending on sales, a birth certificate or obituary.

Plagiarism - stealing someone else’s drivel and calling it your own drivel.

Sentence – amount of time a writer spends in prison after stealing someone else’s drivel.

Agent – a writer’s love/hate all-in-one vice-principle, first-mate, heir to the throne, sentry/bouncer who reads really fast.  

New York Times Bestseller List– If your book is on it you will have the title tattooed on your ass.

Oprah’s Book Club – like being the first to be picked for dodge-ball.

Oprah’s Book Club Update - Is there still an Oprah’s book club.

Query – a writer’s post-it bio combined with Tolstoy’s War and Peace as a Hallmark Card.

No Response Means No – a Dear John letter lost in the mail.

Form Rejection – a Dear John letter not lost in the mail.

Personalized Rejection – if you lose weight and have breast implants John might ask you out.

Publisher – a cross between God with a small “g” and your freshman English teacher.

The Call – comes when phone lines are down, your cell phone is dead, your computer has a virus and the garbage truck runs over your mailbox.

Publishing Deal – comes moments before you decide that writing is a sucky waste of time and head for the tallest building in the city from which to throw yourself off of.

The End - this.