1 2 3 and sometimes 4

1. Who am I?

2. Where am I?
3. What do I do?
4. How do I persevere?

1. I have 2Ns on the tale end of my first name. Does that make me different or does it simply provide me with an extra letter when I need one?
2. I am pivoting among projects, dizzying myself, confusing my goal and lost in a sea of choices.
3. Pick one and focus.
4. Always a multi-reader, (two books at a time), I can't write like that.

This weekend we had some long-time friends over for dinner. The last time I saw them, (six months ago), I mentioned that someone in traditional publishing showed real interest in a project I thought was, "the one". They asked if I had finished, "that book".

When I told that I had set aside that project for something I had finished years earlier, real disappointment passed across their faces. One half of the couple had worked in traditional publishing for years, so she knew the importance of the bone thrown my way by the earlier "someone".
That I saw, (you stupid fuck), on there faces, and (what the fuck are doing), lift the corners of their mouths and (finish the fucker or you will hate yourself), seep from their gaze, surprised me.

What am I doing?
Why am I spinning?
Why am I writing this, right now, instead of working on "the one"?

What?
Why?
I am off to slough away the depression of unfinished dreams and re-inspire myself. I am again telling myself, I WILL FTF. I have a feeling that this time, resolve will stick, because the story is a good one and I have an extra letter if I need one.

Have a nice day.